The Reflection Effect: How Others' Beliefs Can Transform Your Own
Part of the 360 Degrees of Change Series
Everything has a hand in shaping our journey to optimal health, from the world around us to the essence of who we are as individuals. This ongoing series will uncover the forces that help or hinder our quest to achieve our desired behaviors. Welcome to 360 Degrees of Change.
Catch up on part one and part two of this sub-series on values and beliefs. They lay the foundation for understanding how beliefs impact our health behaviors and how values and beliefs intersect.
"I'm a success today because I had a friend who believed in me, and I didn't have the heart to let him down." ― Abraham Lincoln
It’s not a stretch for most people to recognize that others’ beliefs influence their own. This is especially true for children whose first beliefs are largely inherited from the people who raise them. As youth grow older and go to school, their foundational beliefs are often challenged by peers and other adults in their growing social circles. And adulthood presents daily opportunities to share, observe, and even change beliefs as others share their own.
Intrapersonal vs. interpersonal factors
However, science has been slow to study this area of behavior change. In truth, since the mid-80s, when the Theory of Planned Behavior first took center stage, “Researchers have traditionally focused on specifying the intrapersonal processes that govern the behavior of individuals” (Berscheid, 1999). Over the years, focusing on intrapersonal processes has led to wonderful tools for identifying catalysts and barriers to behavior change. Clarifying beliefs by completing I Believe or I am statements and identifying Core Values from pre-generated lists are two of the most common tools in use today.
While helpful, researchers in the field of behavior change assert “interpersonal dynamics are important determinants of health outcomes” (e.g., Holt-Lunstad, Robles, & Sbarra, 2017) “and health behaviors” (Guidetti, Cavazza, & Graziani, 2014; Pietromonaco & Collins, 2017). Psychological research overwhelmingly shows that confiding in others predicts improved health:
Parent and adolescent beliefs influence each other's health behaviors.
A strong connection between peer influences and behavior in adolescence.
Small group discussions are beneficial in discerning the credibility of sources that lead to beliefs.
Without a doubt, we are becoming more clear that with continued research, exploration, and greater understanding, “we can begin to leverage one of the most powerful contexts in which people strive to be healthy—their close relationships.”
Spotlight: Theory in action
I have long held the belief that “I am a slow learner and a fast forgetter.” However, over the past few months a few of my closest friends have helped me learn a few new skills, including yoga, origami, and crochet. In the safety of their hearts, as I tried new things, asked questions, applied my learning, and shared my results, I heard over and over again, “you are a fast learner!” In time, I decided their belief was a much better version than mine, and I traded up! Now, when I face a learning curve, instead of tuning into the old barrier-creating belief, I hear my friends’ consistent assertions and move with confidence. Deliberately choosing to see myself as others see me have provided a firm foundation for successfully learning new behaviors.
Reevaluating your beliefs through others’ perspectives
Ready to explore the power of others’ beliefs on your own and your clients’ behaviors? Take a simple step! As you navigate your day, pay special attention to when someone close to you challenges one of your beliefs. How do their questions, perceptions, and assertions inspire you to reevaluate your belief? Is their version more empowering than yours? Could it serve you better over time? If so, why not steal it and use it to fuel the behavior change you desire?
As you become more proficient in using others’ beliefs to notice, evaluate, and transform your beliefs and behavior, share your experiences with one of the people you serve. It’s a sure bet that your personal experience will inspire their own willingness to consider how other people’s beliefs can be used for positive personal change!
Up next…
We’ll dive into the fascinating topic of personal biases and start by learning some of the basics.